The reason for the punishment is simply that the child “made a mistake” and the parents will deliberately deprive them of their time, or add their painful way to let the child accept our thoughts.
But if we calmly think about it, what is the criterion for judging this mistake? Is it from an adult perspective or from a child's perspective? From the perspective of children of what age?
Many times, the child's behavior is different from the adult's judgment. At the stage of the child, those behaviors are quite normal.
The act of punishing a child or snoring is actually to ease or disguise his frustration. Parents can't do anything to beat their children, and their children will feel the powerlessness of their parents and will gradually lose their trust in their parents.
Almost every once in a while, there are some articles that admire punishments, such as “explaining before punishment”, “moderate rewards and punishments”, “using punishment to eliminate crimes”, etc. These suggestions make anxious parents act for themselves. A little relieved, I once felt that educating children can be a little disciplinary. But then I saw experts from the field of mental health who had different opinions about punishment.
It is useless to try to impose your will on the child through punishment. The punishment may be effective in the short term, so that the parents feel that they control the situation. However, after the punishment, the old problems have not been resolved, new problems have come one after another, and the children's problem behavior will continue to escalate.
No punishment can lead to lasting obedience. When the punishment occurs, the child's energy will be scattered to how to retaliate against the parents, missed the remorse of his misconduct and think about the opportunity to correct the mistake.
Education is a lifelong issue. Since punishment is useless and has a negative impact on children, how to deal with the behavior of "bear bears"? Recommend six techniques instead of punishment.
Express a strong disagreement
Don't be afraid to express your emotions, especially those real feelings. When I got home and saw the mess on the wall, the toys were still everywhere. You can say this: "The ground looks not clean, the house is messy, I am very angry, I have to take a long time to get them. Neat. "Expressing your anger and anger is helpful for your child's awareness, but remember not to take a personality attack.
Show your expectations
In the above case, you can positively express your expectations: "I hope that the house is clean and tidy everywhere."
If you want your child to follow the rules, use a positive sentence and provide valid information that will activate the child's prefrontal lobes. Saying "painting board can draw" is much more useful than prohibiting commands like "can't be doodled on the wall."
Tell your child how to make up for his own mistakes
Don't just blame yourself, force yourself to calm down and tell your child what the situation is and what to do. The wall painting was spent, and he could try to wipe the wall with a damp cloth and soapy water. If you can wipe the child know the method, but understand that it takes time to be good; if it is not clean, the child will know that it should not be done next time.
These steps can arouse the child's sense of responsibility and learn to be responsible for their actions. At this time his attention will be on how to solve problems and prevent problems, rather than on confrontation with you.
Provide choice
If you want to run, you can either go downstairs or not run; you want to draw or draw on paper or not. This little magnetic dog will break, and the plush dog will not break. When the child is not obedient, give the child the opportunity to choose a decision and let the child learn to be responsible for their choice. Easy to take care of baby with EASBABY multifunctional baby carrier, baby rompers, diaper bags and other baby products, all products are carefully designed to make moms easier.
But if we calmly think about it, what is the criterion for judging this mistake? Is it from an adult perspective or from a child's perspective? From the perspective of children of what age?
Many times, the child's behavior is different from the adult's judgment. At the stage of the child, those behaviors are quite normal.
The act of punishing a child or snoring is actually to ease or disguise his frustration. Parents can't do anything to beat their children, and their children will feel the powerlessness of their parents and will gradually lose their trust in their parents.
Almost every once in a while, there are some articles that admire punishments, such as “explaining before punishment”, “moderate rewards and punishments”, “using punishment to eliminate crimes”, etc. These suggestions make anxious parents act for themselves. A little relieved, I once felt that educating children can be a little disciplinary. But then I saw experts from the field of mental health who had different opinions about punishment.
It is useless to try to impose your will on the child through punishment. The punishment may be effective in the short term, so that the parents feel that they control the situation. However, after the punishment, the old problems have not been resolved, new problems have come one after another, and the children's problem behavior will continue to escalate.
No punishment can lead to lasting obedience. When the punishment occurs, the child's energy will be scattered to how to retaliate against the parents, missed the remorse of his misconduct and think about the opportunity to correct the mistake.
Education is a lifelong issue. Since punishment is useless and has a negative impact on children, how to deal with the behavior of "bear bears"? Recommend six techniques instead of punishment.
Don't be afraid to express your emotions, especially those real feelings. When I got home and saw the mess on the wall, the toys were still everywhere. You can say this: "The ground looks not clean, the house is messy, I am very angry, I have to take a long time to get them. Neat. "Expressing your anger and anger is helpful for your child's awareness, but remember not to take a personality attack.
Show your expectations
In the above case, you can positively express your expectations: "I hope that the house is clean and tidy everywhere."
If you want your child to follow the rules, use a positive sentence and provide valid information that will activate the child's prefrontal lobes. Saying "painting board can draw" is much more useful than prohibiting commands like "can't be doodled on the wall."
Tell your child how to make up for his own mistakes
Don't just blame yourself, force yourself to calm down and tell your child what the situation is and what to do. The wall painting was spent, and he could try to wipe the wall with a damp cloth and soapy water. If you can wipe the child know the method, but understand that it takes time to be good; if it is not clean, the child will know that it should not be done next time.
These steps can arouse the child's sense of responsibility and learn to be responsible for their actions. At this time his attention will be on how to solve problems and prevent problems, rather than on confrontation with you.
Provide choice
If you want to run, you can either go downstairs or not run; you want to draw or draw on paper or not. This little magnetic dog will break, and the plush dog will not break. When the child is not obedient, give the child the opportunity to choose a decision and let the child learn to be responsible for their choice. Easy to take care of baby with EASBABY multifunctional baby carrier, baby rompers, diaper bags and other baby products, all products are carefully designed to make moms easier.
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